Birthdays and goodbyes!

Yesterday, I celebrated my birthday!  It was a wonderful birthday.  I got the one thing that I wanted more than anything, and that was to have my love home with me (since my love bought me my new Nikon D5000 already and it counted as my birthday present).  The day was spent going to mexican for lunch at our favorite place in town, followed by a couple of hours at the community pool, a quick run home to change and try to make my hair look the best as possibe and then off to dinner at Cracker Barrel. The dinner was great.  I absolutely love their chicken n dumplins!  When dinner was over we headed over the the ball field to watch a dear friend of ours play softball and say goodbye to their kids since they are headed off with the grandparents for part of the summer.  Thanks for the birthday card K!  I spent the day with my love, kids and good friends.  It could not have been a better day.  Oh, and I can't forget the incredibly beautiful hibiscus plant that my bestie got me.  She knows it is my favorite flower.

On a more sad note though, now that my birthday has come and gone, it is ALMOST time to say goodbye to my love as he heads off on his 3rd deployment.  I never in a million years thought that it would be this hard to have to say goodbye.  I am not sure if it is because we had been on recruiting duty before we came back here and I had him home for 3 yrs, maybe it is because I know that the contact via phone or email is going to be few and far between,  or it could be because I am much older now since our last deployment and not quite as naive as I used to be.  MAYBE, it is all three.  All I know is, I want him to stay.  I am scared and freaking out.  I am STILL angry.  Time is flying by and there is nothing I can do to stop it.  Then, I find that I keep judging myself for feeling this way.  My head keeps saying, your a grown up get it together.  You have done this before, but my heart is breaking.  I have great friends and family to support me through this so I know I will be fine.  I also know the last few days are the hardest.  All I can do is think about how awful that goodbye is going to be.  Once it is all said and done though, we will begin to put ourselves in a routine that will help get us through our day and I will finally be able to be happy that NO ONE has actually figured out how to stop time.

*This should be my last sad post about him leaving.  Well I may blog about the day he leaves but hopefully, from here on out it will be good moods and great times (most of the time)!